Life Lessons - Trying to Win an Argument? Honey, You Both Already Lost!

First things first:

If you ask a question, and the response is only going to be "Yes." Or "No.", don't get mad if it isn't the answer you wanted. Be grateful the person even answered the question and just accept their answer.

If trying to win an argument:

Try to stop. This isn't a competition—to see who can win this, who can have the last laugh. All you're doing is wasting your energy. Why not instead just try to diffuse the situation. So, they're not listening to you. Fine. Try to make them hear you in a different way. If you're trying to get your way and it isn't working, don't muddle the situation more by getting angry. Try to calm down and perhaps see THEIR point of view.

If the situations turns into a 1-Up match, pump the brakes. You're both in the wrong, because you're both acting like dicks. And if you actually call the person out on it, be aware of your own idiocy. No one is making the situation any better; it's just turned into a useless boxing match that's going to leave the both of you feeling and looking dumb as hell. It might culminate to where you both realize it too late, have to swallow your bitter pride, and apologize. Between the arguing and admittance, things might have gotten worse! While it sucks having to admit you're wrong, it's also relieving to know that you're trying to rectify the situation. Hopefully, the other person involved will accept your apology and also offer one of their own.

Point Blank: Why even waste your energy on arguing, hon? Be able to identify when things are getting out of hand, put a stopper in it, and just accept the answer that maybe got you a little upset in the first place. Yes, you may get defensive and that causes you to fire back. But don't get so defensive you go offensive, turning what was a simple Q&A to a battle of "You're not winning this." Be respectful of their answer. But make it known that you want to be respected as well.

Man Crush Monday! - Chris Evans

The title of this post is pretty self-explanatory so I should just drop a picture and leave it at that. But Chris Evans is too damn fine not to explain why he is my first ever man crush for Man Crush Monday!

Can we just look at those arms?! GOODNESS!

So, the first time I ever saw this guy was in Fantastic Four (2005) where he played the cocky but funny Johnny Storm. I was about, what? 11? Even then, I knew this man was fine. So, I've been a fan of his and had a massive crush on him since then. I can proudly say he's my biggest celebrity crush. No shame.

Why I am not on this couch next to him I will never know.

Here are some reasons why he earns the title of this Monday's man crush:

• He's a good actor, who seems to get better with each movie. I mean, he went from Not Another Teen Movie (which I thought was hilarious) to freakin' Captain America. Wow.
• He's an older man (32) and acts like it; I'm also a fan of older men. Again, no shame!
• He supports gay rights and is a friend to the LGBT community (Some background: his younger brother is gay; he was jokingly disappointed when he was knocked to a lower number in, I think, one of AfterElton's Hot 100 lists when he scored higher the previous year) 

  

  Look at that smile! It's infectious.

• He's not full of himself. Press conferences and the like make him super nervous since he suffers from severe anxiety as a result and I like that he's really open to admitting that. Like, he knows he's not perfect. He's a normal person. And I find that attractive.
• He's funny
• He seems like a genuinely sweet and down-to-earth person, regardless of his status as one of the biggest action stars of our time
• He's a flexible actor, good at performing in different genres: comedy, romance, drama, action. Would love to see how he would do in a suspense or horror film. 
• He can be so adorable! To clarify:

Love that he pokes fun at himself!

Ben & Jerry's? Me and you? This could happen. 

Since that's been all said, let's move on to the physical stuff!

Facial Hair (or, as I like to call it, Beard Game)

The man can grow some facial hair! And not only that, but he keeps it well groomed. Here are a couple of my favorite photos showing some beard-love:

Perfection.

So handsome!

This picture is just everything.

I should also mention the fact that one of the reasons I love facial hair in general is because it can make a man look older. I know Chris is already 32 so it doesn't make him look too much older but it gives him this edge of...distinction. Like, it distinguishes him, makes him look more mature, and just rugged. I just love that word, rugged. I love it when Chris is rugged and I get irked with films that make him shave. I mean, he looks good clean-shaven—no hate there—but the man with a beard...

Need I say more? 

He also rocks the scruff pretty well, too.

Unnf!

Arms 

If anyone wants to know what my favorite body part on a guy is, it's his arms. If you thought I was gonna go THERE, haha, sorry to disappoint you! Gutter minded nasties... Hahaha, my attraction to arms developed in the ninth grade and I found I like them because 1) they can be very warm, 2) if the guy they belong to works out, well...MUSCLE and 3) I'm a hugger; I like to hold and be held and whenever I get a boyfriend I'm definitely gonna want to cuddle a lot. Being held by arms like, say, Chris Evans's, would be heaven on earth for me. Now, I don't want to be crushed! I just want to be snug and secure. Chris has nice arms. I mean, come on now...

Do you see what I mean? Lord...

The man could probably carry 20+ of those boxes and not break a sweat.




The thing I like about his arms (and body in general) is that they're not too big. Like, the man is muscular, but he's not overdoing it.  Some visuals: 

Mommy said, "You can look but don't touch."
...Not even a little?
Also, chest hair! LOVE.

He's on the phone with me; we're arguing about how I can't get over there fast enough. 

Well Dressed

The man can wear a suit! I will let this one explain itself:

Let's just take a moment to be thankful.


By the way, have y'all seen his Gucci Guilty ads?

Can I just trade places with her for like, ever?

I know, girl. I can't resist him either. 

So, that's my man crush for today! I would really love to meet Chris one day. Yes, I'd be crazy nervous, but he'll probably make me feel right at home, like I've known him forever. He's just one of those people that seems like he'd be a great friend, one who you can have fun with all the time. Like, even though you both can't sing (or maybe he can or you can, I actually don't know), you'd still go to a karaoke bar just for shits and giggles. I would probably never be bored with this guy! And for how'd I feel if he was my boyfriend: cloud 9, all the time, plus all of the happiness of a best friend. If you still don't understand my beautiful struggle, check out this article why don't ya: 

http://www.buzzfeed.com/rachelhorner/times-chris-evans-was-too-handsome-for-his-own-good.

I don't know if there's another celebrity out there to top him, but for now (and the past 8 1/2 years) Chris Evans is my #1 celebrity crush. Stay handsome Chris, inside and out.  

Looking Forward To...

With it being 2014, I realize I have a lot to look forward to in the new year. Like I mentioned in my New Years post, I spent a lot of last year wanting, imagining all this stuff to do, things that I wanted to happen. With this year comes some big changes in my life, the biggest being I will be living on my own come this summer. Due to circumstances outside of my control, I don't have a home to go back to when this next semester is over (and also for breaks and the like). While that was a painful reality to face, I'd be lying if I said I didn't see this coming. Only regret I have is that I have not prepared for it as much as I should have. But no worries! I got this. So,with these changes comes fear, but also the eagerness to just jump right in! Like, I'm ready for this year. I'm ready to see how I grow and what's going to push me to reach heights I've never touched. So, while there will be some light-hearted things in this post, all-in-all, I'm serious about 2014. Last year was kind of busted. This year is going to be beautiful and polished. And why is it going to be that way? Because I'm going to make it so.

Super Smash Bros. for Wii U/3DS

All this was revealed in June and I lost my shit. 

People who know me personally know that I am a gamer, Nintendo and Mario being my biggest and favorite company/franchise to play. My love for the Smash bros. series started when I first played the second installment, Melee, back in '02 when I got it. I love the percentage system, the frenetic gameplay, and the wide array different characters/attacks. Princess Peach is my main and has been since Melee. 

From left to right: Peach in Melee, Brawl, and the upcoming fourth installment
My favorite look for her is the Brawl one, but I love how she looks in HD in SSB4!

It's been 5 1/2 years since the last installment in the series so I, along with I'm pretty sure other Smash fans, are clamoring for the next game. June 11th, 2013 was an experience, as that was the day the game officially revealed, with Nintendo giving us a trailer filled with some massive character reveals. I'm calling it right now: Wii Fit Trainer is going to be the biggest troll ever and I can't wait to see how people use her to sabotage/annoy other players. I have a friend who will probably use her perfectly for these purposes. Through the months I have been looking at the site (smashbros.com) almost religiously, praying for another character reveal. My biggest thing about this game I realized it the inclusion of more female characters. So far, we have five: Samus, Wii Fit Trainer, Peach, Zelda, and the cosmic newcomer Rosalina. I'm happy with this number because for one, my main made it back; the second reason is that this number looks like it could keep rising.

Keep the female fighters coming, Sakurai!

 The next and possibly last female fighter I would love to see make it in SSB4 is Daisy, the regal and fiercely tomboyish princess. I swear to God, if she makes it in the game as a playable character, I won't say shit else. I'll shut up. Because Masahiro Sakurai will have answered my prayers. Now, I love Rosalina (whose existed for 6 years, as Super Mario Galaxy was released in '07) but I was slightly disappointed when she was revealed. Daisy has been around for quite some time (24 years, if you wanna get technical), so I think she deserves to be in this series way more than Rosalina. And for those saying “What will her moveset be?” I say she’s been in enough games for the development team to come up with something. And I know a lot of them have been sports-oriented but that suits her tomboy attitude! They did a lot with Rosalina and after Wii Fit Trainer, you cannot tell me that anything is possible with some of the characters in this game. So, with 2014 comes this game. Can’t wait. And speaking of games, I plan on getting a Wii U system so I can SSB4 and other games. I’m also excited about these:

Zero-gravity? Count me in!

Actually getting this for PC; super excited. Been with this series since The Dark Project. I can't wait to see how Garrett handles his own in next-generation gaming. 

(Yeah, I don’t have the system to play SSB4 yet but I’m crazy excited about it… Haha, quit judging me.)

Sparks

So, I guess I could go into a general music discussion here detailing what music I’m excited for about 2014 but my number one is easily the release of Imogen Heap’s fourth album, Sparks. Imogen Heap is my favorite music artist and I’ve been a fan of her since 2007 (wow, this year will make 7 years!). She had already been an artist for many years before then but I didn’t know about her until I finally watched The Chronicles of Narnia: The Lion, The Witch, and the Wardrobe and heard her song “Can’t Take It In” in the end credits. The rest is history. I’ve been following the journey of making this album since 2011, when she first started making Lifeline, the first song and single of the then-untitled album. I was hoping it would have come out by the end of last year but it doesn’t come out until March of this year. With this album, Imogen is releasing a standard and deluxe edition, kind of like she did with Ellipse, her third album. What makes the deluxe edition of Sparks really stand out from Ellipse’s deluxe is that it is going to be a box set.

Not the finished look, but this is the Deluxe Box set. So excited for the album!

I won’t go into detail here but chile… If I had the money, I would have preordered that puppy like THAT. But I don’t. Maybe I’ll get it someday but for now, I’ll happily snag the standard. I already own half of the album (she’s released seven of the songs between now and 2011) but it’s going to be amazing to have the rest of the album for my listening pleasure. I love this woman because she’s so creative and inspiring and her music truly is like no other. So come on with it, March 3^rd, 2014. I’m so ready.

Living on My Own

Gotta find an apartment first but I will be living on my own for the first time come this summer. That means paying my own bills, buying my own groceries, and depending on myself more than I ever have in my own life before. I have to thank my friends that already are living on their own for being constant inspirations for me because honestly, this is a terrifying reality. But they make it look tolerable and really fun; if they can do it, I can too. I know there will be some bumps in the road but I’m going to try really hard to make sure there are few. So, right now, not much is happening in that department but trust me, as the year goes on, this blog won’t miss a thing.

Writing Internship (and just writing in general)

The last credit I need to complete my writing minor is a writing internship. Looking at the application process, it looks like this is going to be challenging but worthwhile. Some of my fellow English-majors have said that internships range from actually writing stuff or being the office bitch (say if you intern at a publication or something). I definitely don’t want to become another Andy Sachs! I mean, aside from strutting into the office to Kaskade’s “Here I Am”, that’s too much stress on my part. Haha, but in all seriousness, I want this internship to be fun and benefitting; I want it to help me go farther in my career path (I want to be an author but I love movies so much so I might be a screenwriter; whatever the hell I become, I just want to WRITE) and better myself at my craft. And besides the boost to my credentials, I just want to actually feel like I accomplished something. I want more than just those three credits, you see. Right now, I need to start looking at places and applying to them. Over the summer, I’m going to be working and living, but I want there to be writing every which way in-between. If it’s one of my goal’s to see my name on a book, a have that book reach #1 on the New York Times bestseller list, no time like the present to start making it happen.

Making new friends, meeting new people

This one is pretty self-explanatory but I love meeting new people. I used to be a shy kid back in the day, but I'm a lot more outgoing now (I still retain some of my shy qualities but they fade as I get to know someone). I made a great friend last year so I can't wait to see who else enters my life this year. And as for the friends I already have, I'm so happy we are friends. 

Baking

I’m a gamer. But playing video games isn’t my only hobby. I love to bake. My siblings and I used to help our mom all the time with the baking when we were younger. When I was in seventh grade, I baked my first cookies by myself. They were Vanilla Crisps from the Better Homes and Gardens Cookbook. Aside from melting a hole in the mixing bowl due to leaving it on top of the hot oven, the cookies came out great and I realized I had a knack at making the baked goods. Eight years later, I’m still baking and better than ever (adding cakes a pies to the repertoire); my dad had been telling me for years I should start charging people for my cookies and I was never brave enough to do it. Now, I’m thinking otherwise. Yes, I need the money. I mean, let’s be real here: broke college student here, hellloooo? But the thing I like most about baking is the happiness it brings people, the way faces light up or melt when they take that first bite. I love it when people tell me, “This is so good!” But I love it even more to see that it lifts spirits. So, I want to bake more this year than I ever have before, mostly just because. But if this cookie-selling thing happens, it’d be a nice little side business (with fair prices!) to keep me busy and happy. I’ll probably do a trial run first, brush up on my skills and then see what happens after that. Let the baking commence!

My biggest idol when it comes to baking. My friends actually call me Martha as a nickname. 

LOVE

Daaaaaaw!

Just kidding.

Think I've finally found somebody but...

But, no seriously, it’d be nice to no longer be single. I want a boyfriend! But I’m not going to think about it or mope about it as much as I did the past year and the years before that. I’ve been hearing “It’ll happen when it happens” for like, ever. But I understand and agree with that more than I have in the past. Besides, y’all see what I have to look forward to above; bigger fish to fry! Not to say love isn’t big, because it is. But for now, I’m putting it on the backburner so I can focus on other things. And if Mr. Right happens to come along during all that, I’ll just be like, “Better late than never.”

Health

 Due to stress from finals, I put myself in the damn hospital (TWICE) from chest pains. The doctors were baffled, saying their cause and origin were unknown. At the time, all I knew was that they hurt like a mother *clown horn* and I wanted them to stop. But now that I look back on it, I know that they were stress-induced. I was going out of my mind preparing for finals, mainly for that damn Geology one; Linguistics was my second hardest but the stress for that was all for naught. This year, I’m looking forward to being able to breathe, no matter how hard or stressful things get. The only thing getting in the way of my relaxation and peace of mind is me. I’m looking forward to being able to look at myself in the mirror, say, “Bitch, calm down.”, actually DO THAT, and relax. I have many friends who I see were born with this gene called “Fuck It”.  

They make it look so easy...

If I have that gene, its traits have been severely repressed by my crazy ass drive and uptightness. I’m going to loosen up this year, and not just for me, but for my health. Not to say I’m going to drop everything and party, because that’s not how I roll. I’m just going to stress less and have fun doing it, but still be on the grind. And for exercises and crap, I want to start jogging in the Spring. I want to do yoga so I won’t be so freakin’ stiff; it is a dream of mine to be able to do the splits one day and as tight as I am, trying to do it now would result in death severe injury. Yoga is relaxing and I enjoyed it the first time I tried it; I’m eager to do it again. Besides running, Zumba looks fun for cardio, but I’d probably only do it in private. I really wish I had better coordination. I love choreography driven music videos and oooh, I wish I could dance like some of the people in them. If one day I can do the choreography from “Genie” by Girls’ Generation, “Work” by Ciara feat. Missy Elliott, and Britney’s “Work Bitch”, I can proudly say I “werked it.” But, more importantly than the physical, I’m looking forward to improve my emotional health.

Traveling

I don’t go anywhere. I mean, I haven’t really gone to too many places in the U.S. and I don’t even have a passport. I want to go out and explore what else the world contains, y’know? And being stuck in the same place does not help that. While I may not be able to go anywhere right away, I definitely want to take at least one trip somewhere this year. I want to look back on this year and say, “I went there!” I’ll figure it out as the year happens but man… I want to go somewhere!

Reading

I’m sick of just reading the books I’m assigned for classes. I miss being able to read at my leisure. I’m on break right now, but it’s about to end. I haven’t read nearly as much as I’ve wanted to. Throughout the year, I’m looking forward to reading. A lot. Even when I do have to read for class. Reading inspires me to write and I want lots of inspiration.

Family

My family and I. From left to right: Ashawn (nephew), Miles (brother), Me, Tyresha (sister), and Ashyla (niece).

My brother turns 17 next month, my sister turns 22 in the summer and my babies (niece and nephew just doesn’t describe my love in full for them) turn 3 and 2. Not only are we all getting older but I believe our bond is going to grow stronger. I love my family. I’m looking forward to calling more, being a great and loving uncle, and just being there when needed. Last year was tough for all of us. I want this one to be significantly different, filled with fun, laughter, good memories, and love. No more struggle. Only happiness that I can proudly display in a silver frame.

What are y’all looking forward to this year? What is it that you’re going to try/want to do. Let’s all make it happen.

Thoughts on BEYONCÉ

So, as I'm pretty sure y'all know, Beyoncé dropped a surprise album the minute the day became December 13th, 20 days ago . I don't know what the rest of the world was doing, but I had just finished a monster of a final paper for my Middle English class (2800-3200 words). I had been suffering from some increasingly intense (and I'm pretty sure stress-induced) chest pains the past week, was in the hospital earlier on the 12th, and hadn't written a lick of that paper before then. I turned it in at exactly 11:57pm, two minutes before the 11:59pm due date. One thing I know about myself is no matter how much I may procrastinate, shit ALWAYS gets done. So, after all of this, I'm ready to unwind by taking a bubble bath complete with relaxing music, one of my favorite ways to alleviate stress. I go on Facebook to celebrate the end of finals and BLAM! I see a post from my friend Shelby, revealing to me that Beyoncé has dropped an album. No promotion. No prior knowledge. Just boom, there it is. While reading and contributing to the awesome comment thread of that post, I jumped on to iTunes to get my first listen of this newness. While I was shocked you couldn't buy any of the songs individually (cool fact: the day it was made where you could do this was my birthday), after listening to some samples and especially after watching snippets of the videos, I dropped the fifteen dollars right there. I haven't looked back. 

The album definitely wins the award of Best Album of 2013 (Ariana Grande's "Yours Truly" nabs the silver) in my music awards show in my head because, MAN! "Blow" is my favorite song on the album, hands down. One of the main reasons I bought the album was for this song; I just saw fifteen seconds of the video and was like, "Yes. I must have this." Yes, I know the song is about cunnilingus. That's one of the reasons why I like it so much! Men been singing or rapping about getting their stuff sucked for years. I say go ahead girls, let them know that y'all refuse to be left out. I not only like "Blow" because it's saying she's gonna get hers too but how she says it. It's not disgusting or brazen. It's not even vulgar. Okay, maybe it does toe the line with the "skittles" and "cherry" lines but GIRL. All I could do was snap my fingers and say, "Yaasss!" The production is smooth as all hell, sounding like it's from the 70s or 80s and the lyrics are too much fun to sing out loud. It's certainly one of the songs most loaded with innuendos; I liked how it wasn't all in your face. I mean, I clearly knew what the hell she was talking about but I wasn't grimacing. 

Now back to that cherry line... Now the first time I heard her say, "I can't wait till I get home so you can tear my cherry out." I was like, "Wait a minute, hold up! Did she just say "tear"?" I actually had to go back and listen because since the background singers were saying "turn" I was getting confused. But, yup. She said "tear". And I still jammed out. In fact, that whole section, from 2.49 to 4.18, is my favorite part of the song, the part of the song where I GO IN. Y'all know what I'm talking about. You're in shower, jamming to your favorite song and then THE part comes on. You grab that shower gel, hold it like a mic, and go all out. If this was The X Factor, it would be Yes's all across the board. I have a little party when that part of the song comes on. More like a music video. Face expressions happen, extemporaneous choreography is performed, invisible hair flipping transpires... And this is even outside of the shower! The music video for Blow is also my favorite from the album. The woman's make-up is flawless, there is neon-everything, and the choreography was on point. Blow is the song I would most like to reenact or do my own music video for. It's just such a fun, playful, sexy and flirty song. Blow is like my personality. I am and can be all those things and when it comes to sexy stuff, I know that I won't be all in your face about it but it will be implied. Hahaha! 

Now, to the eleven things I learned.

1. Pretty does hurt; society's standards of beauty are ugly, as is society for thinking that way and I think its high time for a massive makeover. 

2. If you're drunk in love, you certainly wouldn't want to go to detox.

3. Skittles can be used as a metaphor for *bleep*, I can sing about cherries, and I hope I get to experience that "daddy long stroke."

4. If I sneeze on a beat, I must have to have a cold. 

5. I want my man to call me Peaches when we get this nasty.

6. Climaxes now have a theme song (Rocket).

7. Don't make a big deal out of little things and it must be nice to call someone yours and know they belong to you. 

8. I need to get my ass to Coney Island and enjoy myself, preferably with a bunch of friends.

9. Me and Chimamanda Ngozi Adichie should totally be friends.

10. I woke up like this.

11. Love is a superpower. 

I had too much fun writing that. My top three songs from the album would have to be Blow (in first), Mine, and Partition. ****Flawless, Rocket, and Drunk In Love are all right behind in fourth, fifth, and sixth place respectively. 

Mine gets second place because I really like how it sounds, the lyrics exude a lot of vulnerability and uncertainty that takes place in relationships, and Drake holds up his end nicely; I was sad that his last verse didn't make it in the music video. Yes, I wanted to see more of him (the man is fine, got that beard-game on lock) but it would have added to the video's sensitivity theme. Plus, that video is one of the prettiest out of the 17. 

Partition gets the bronze--hell, it might have to share the silver with Mine--because it... You know what, Partition and Mine will share the silver. Partition also gets second because, people, this is the nastiest we've ever heard Beyonce be. Blow was a damn tap compared to this in-your-face banger. Not only does it start out with the hip Yoncé but it has Beyoncé not holding back, talking all this nasty shit. And girl, why not? I loved all of it. If you've been watching those Self-Titled videos of hers, you'll see she's very comfortable and unashamed of her sexuality and I'm like YES. Why should she be?! Partition also has some of the best lines, lines that make you go, "Damn!" I mean, Beyoncé is so ill, she sneezed on a beat and made it sicker. She shamelessly referenced Monica Lewinsky and the cum blue dress. Beyoncé said her man likes to call her Peaches when they get super freaky! Yes, you better say it right, Bey! For all those people complaining how she's gone crazy or is no longer a role model or shit like that, I have to say that Beyoncé hasn't changed. She's just letting us in more. And she's even more of a role model now than she was with her last four albums. Seriously. Watch those Self-Titled videos. You'll see what I'm talking about. By being open with her fans, she's allowing us to have fun with her. 

****Flawless now gets the bronze because since I heard the snippets of Bow Down/I Been On like in April or whenever it was released, I wanted the entire song. Bow Down is aggressive but that's what I like about it. It's Beyoncé like we've never seen her, demanding respect. And then with the Flawless portion, there is talk about feminism (which is the shit) and repeated lines of "I woke up like this" "Flawless" and "goddamn". It all works for me! 

BEYONCÉ was the perfect surprise, gift, and way to end the semester. I survived finals and came out with Beyoncé's new album. Can't complain there. The entire album is solid and I love the fact that its a visual album because music videos, especially ones featuring choreography, are fun to watch and give the song (sometimes) even deeper meaning. So, thank you, Beyoncé, for great and inspiring music, being yourself, and being open to all your fans. 

I want to know what your favorite songs were too, people! Drop a comment. Also, why not talk about your pros and cons of the album; did it make it to number one on your list of best albums of 2013 too? Have at it! I'll be dancing to Blow in the interim.