The Cookbook - Sweet Tooth: Oreo Balls

Now, as many of you may or may not know, I'm a baker. I love to bake, cookies being my favorite thing and the baked good I most often make. I sometimes branch out and make other things, like cakes, pies, brownies, whatever. I needed something to whip up this weekend and lemme tell you, these are EASY. You only need three ingredients! With the power of three, you get these:

Oh, yes. 

Introducing Oreo Balls, or as I like to call them (and one of the names I first heard them as), Jesus Balls—you BETTA PRAISE HIM. They're called this because they taste like heaven. I can attest that they do. I first learned this recipe over Spring Break at my friend Shelby's house; her younger brother was asking me about my baking habits and brought up the recipe. The moment I heard about it I immediately wanted to not only try the confections but make them. I had to wait about two weeks but it was worth it. I made these for a potluck and by the time I left, there was one lone soldier left in the tupperware. Just as well; at least I could enjoy the last bite. Here's what you'll need. 

16 ounces of Oreos, crushed

1 8 ounce package of cream cheese, softened

24 ounces of almond bark or white chocolate (blended with a bit of shortening), melted.

1. Take your oreos and either put them in a blender and crush those suckers up with the corresponding button until they resemble crumbs OR get a ziplock, dump the oreos in, and beat that sh*t with a rolling pin like it was Eustace Bagge and you're Muriel until you also get crumbs, or close to them (which is what I did, since I don't have a blender). Careful with the bag tactic, though. The constant onslaught of hits may cause small holes to tear in the bag, getting your precious oreo crumbs everywhere. If this happens, hit with a little less strength and try to cover the hole with your hand to prevent further escape of oreos. 

2. After that fun part is over, pour the crushed oreos into a mixing bowl with the package of cream cheese. With a electric mixer or a Kitchen-Aid stand-mixer (I will have one of those one fine day), mix on medium speed until fully blended. The consistency of the oreos should be that of moist dirt, wet enough to be shaped and hold its shape without crumbling. 

3. With either your hand and the help of a spoon or a small circular scoop, roll the oreos into one to  two inch balls. Place on a cookie sheet with foil and place in a refrigerator for an hour to chill (if you don't have time, you can also try the freezer, but I would cut that time in half, maybe slightly more than that, say about 25 minutes in the freezer compared to the full 60 in the fridge). 

4. If your almond bark didn't arrive from Amazon like you didn't order it to your address, when you did (THANKS, AMAZON!) and you're under a time constraint, run your ass down to King Soopers and grab two 12 ounce bags of Ghiradelli's White Melting Wafers (apparently, almond bark is sold at just about every other grocery store, which I didn't know prior to the King Soopers trip. I also have no car and since King Soopers is the only grocery store in walking distance, I had to haul ass there and back, although I got a ride from a friend halfway on the way back). While the Oreos balls are chillin' in the fridge (or freezer), grab a medium microwave safe glass bowl and melt around 3/4 cups of your almond bark or white chocolate (remember to also put the shortening in with it; it'll improve the consistency and add gloss, making it similar to almond bark, which already has shortening in it). Remove from microwave and stir. NOTE: Make sure everything you're using to melt the chocolate or that will be touching it is drier than the Sahara desert. Water will mess up the melting process of the almond bark or white chocolate, and no one wants that. These things are too sweet for struggle, girl). 

5. After the hour or 25 minutes is up, remove oreo balls from their frozen paradise. Using a spoon, stir the oreo balls around in the almond bark/white chocolate, taking care to scoop generous amounts of the melted confection on top of the oreo ball as to make sure of a complete coating. Place coated balls on back on the cookie sheet and return to the refrigerator (you really only need the refrigerator for this part) for 15 minutes to allow the almond bark or white chocolate to set and harden. Melt another 3/4 cups of the confection if you're beginning to run low after a couple coatings.

6. Remove from refrigerator and either enjoy them right there or store in an airtight container for yummies later. For how long, I'd say a week, maybe a bit more if kept frozen, but hell, who are we kidding? These things will NOT last that long. Trust me. 

Note: if you have any left over white chocolate/almond bark, melt it again if it has hardened and pour in gentle dime-sized spots on a foil covered cookie sheet. Place in refrigerator (for 10 minutes) or freezer (5 minutes) until hardened and solid. Carefully remove from foil and place the wafers back in the bag they came from, or a ziplock. Keep in a cook, dark place until later use. 

Hope you Bookworms enjoyed this recipe! If you have any questions, feel free to ask. I'm looking forward to trying out this recipe with other things besides oreos. Graham crackers, anyone? Until next time, readers.

Man Crush Monday! - Dietrich Riley

Hello, my Bookworms (this is what I'm calling my followers/readers of this blog, and since the name of the blog is Open Book, it seems pretty fitting!). I know, I know, it's basically been 3 months. I've been busy with school and my personal life, trying to survive the semester and get ready for the summer. In my "Looking Forward To..." post, I talked about living on my own. That's actually happening. Signed a lease and everything! AND I'm living with friends I've known since my freshman year of college and the people below us are also my friends! The summer's looking pretty good right now, but I still have a some things to get figured out. I'll keep this blog and y'all updated with that. But, with my three month absence, I figured I have to come back with something good. And why not more man candy? My last Man Crush Monday went to Chris Evans back in January. This one goes to a sort of newcomer in my book, Mr. Dietrich Riley:

Dietrich Riley. I have half a mind to just end this post right here. Seriously! This picture says it all. You look me straight in my eyes and tell me he doesn't make you drool. 

So, I bet y'all are wondering how I found this one. Well, there's this page on Facebook that I liked, aptly named Dam He Fine. Take a gander and get your daily dose of man candy right here: https://www.facebook.com/DamHeFineFanPage (trust me, it's as fun as it is addicting). A couple times every day my newsfeed is sprinkled with pictures of a bunch of really fine men and who am I to complain about that? I like a lot of them I see, only leaving the like button alone if I don't find them particularly fine or if the picture is too racy (I might like it, but I have respect for others who'll have my activity on their walls).

Not at all racy, but still. This man could be a sin! He is that fine. I better look away before I catch fire. 

So, occasionally I come across a man that makes my jaw drop and gives me whiplash from strong double-take. Dietrich Riley is one of these men.

I hope that field knows it's lucky to have him on it. 

The guy is not only insanely attractive, but hardworking. I didn't know his name at first but after scouring the many comments one of his pictures got (his pictures on the page are some of the most highly liked/commented) I found it and looked him up. Because in my mind a man this damn fine cannot NOT be some kind of famous. And I was sort of right. Dietrich turns out to be a college student at UCLA, where he plays for the Bruins. So, he's got a following there but he also has an Instagram, which is where this picture thing took off (I decided not to leave a link here for it, as to respect his privacy or something along those lines. If you want to look him up, go right ahead, just don't be lookin' at me for links). I don't know if he models or just takes damn good Instagram pictures, this man deserves to be well-known for his looks. Like, um...

His Instagram pictures are like the male equivalent (in quality) of Ariana Grande's. I think this may have been the first picture I've ever seen of Dietrich. You can understand my reaction. Who in their right mind could resist this?! GOD LORD! (And no that was not a spelling mistake, I say "God" instead of "good" to emphasize the double godliness happening before thine eyes right now)

My friend, Airielle, is constantly telling me I need a big, strong man to take of me. To this I say, "Can it be HIM?!"

Let the church say AMEN!

So, Dietrich pretty much looks like the whole package, for me at least. Attractive (very, AND THAT FACIAL HAIR, HELLO! Perfect). Ambitious and educated. Looks like he has a good sense of humor (watch some of his Vines, no links because I don't want to put him on too much of a blast here, look him up yourselves if you're that curious). Knows how to dress himself.

Need I say more?

This has got to be my favorite look on him. It's got an edge, but still sophisticated. I love it when men dress like this. It's casual, but without any slack that the word might offer. Comfortable but sharp. I REFUSE to use the word "swag".  

And this. It just works for me, all of it. Even the red shoes! Somehow, they just complete/compliment the outfit. And you get to see his beautiful arms. Love how the heat doesn't mess with his style. 

Seems to have a sense of humor and is adorable. Proof:

Admit it. You just died from a merciless onslaught of cuteness. It's okay. I have defibrillators on hand.  

Webster needs to have his picture as the visual definition for the word "irresistible". 

Look at that smile! Can't help but smile yourself. 

Aaaand (possibly one of the best parts I found out after looking him up) we're very close in age. He's only older than me by a year and a couple months. This could be a match made in heaven right now and he doesn't know it. So, Dietrich, why don't you come on down to Greeley, CO and we go out for some coffee? Or, if you're not a coffee person, you can teach me how to play football. I'm not really good at sports so it'd be good to learn the rules of the field. No tackling! I will however accept cuddly bear hugs. And with those arms of yours, something tells me you have a knack for those. Ahaha, let me stop! But seriously, it'd be nice to meet this guy. If he's as beautiful on the inside as he is on the outside, then I'm all for it. If he ever sees this and gets uncomfortable, I have this to say: I already know you make ladies swoon but if you make men do it too, you must be doing something right! Please take this post as a huge compliment!

Stay handsome, Dietrich! 

Or THIS may have been the first picture I've ever seen of him. Now I bet you REALLY understand my reaction. Left me breathless. Something about me and green eyes, let me tell you...